ceLina // 16+ ; Fairfield Primary/Fairfied Secondary/Jurong Junior College ; Choir/Red Cross ; Christian ; Black/Red/Purple ; Love to Sing.
Music/Bands // Evanescence ; My Chemical Romance ; NickelBack ; Megan Maccauley ; Kelly Clarkson .
ThePeopleThatTurnMyRosesRed // Amanda ; * Batman ; Georgina ; Julia ; * Kathryn ; Kenneth ; LyDia ; Sherlyn ; tiMo ; Yuliang ; Jie ying ; Joel;Cherie
;noteworthy // nartz (please do not remove this.)
leaveanote
//
[sample]
Strange In The Making
[ :: Freaky 15 ]
[ :: Fiesty 14 ]
Present Bloodstains and Dried Up Teardrops
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
:: home ::
Save me from my insecurity.
thoughtprocesses.
Tuesday, April 13
The real issue...13/04/04
Weather: Cloudy
Listening to: Missing / Evanescence
I know this may sound stupid... maybe i'm insensitive to my surroundings, maybe i'm insensitive to the feelings of others. But what i'm gonna to say are my true thoughts and feelings. What ever you think about me, will not affect me. Just really need to talk to someone or something. Currently everyone is busy from their work or having some recreational activity. I really dont wish to bother them, neither do i think they have the time and energy to bother about me.
I dun really know what's coming over me these days, just not being me... sometimes i just feel so hollow. Maybe its a phase. It feels like you've dropped a coin in a bottomless pit. When i try to tell someone about it, i dont know how to express it. Neither do i know how to go about answering my own thoughts and feelings. I just feel so caught, like no one helps me or guides me to the answer. I feel so stranded. Yes, there maybe people caring for me but sometimes i really dont know if they want to hear about these minor stuff about how i feel. I think they would rather spend time on studying or working or something. Maybe because of this, i fell in love with a dream 3 years ago. And now, look what it has done to me. I've gone in a full circle yet i have achieved nothing, gain no objective, no aim, still back at where i started. Sometimesi really wonder whether i'm lying to myself, i can ignore something really well and forget all about it. Thats how can escape reality so well. Having a little world of my own, not having to face the problems of my own life, smiling continuously pretending to be happy so that i can forget all my woes, living a dream, a lie. Thats all i have been living these past few years. What's worse, i've only come to realise it now.
Well, at least i'm talking to someone, talking to you. Even if you dont reply me, i have some sort of outlet. I can tell you whatever i'm feeling rite now. No restrictions, no nothing. I'm angry at myself. Angry that i havent got to realise it earlier, but the point is, i've never been angry at him. I guess i was too angry at myself that i started hurling names at him for no reason. It was never his fault in the beginning. It was my neligence to the whole situation.
-// none.....
*ceLina
runaway