ceLina // 16+ ; Fairfield Primary/Fairfied Secondary/Jurong Junior College ; Choir/Red Cross ; Christian ; Black/Red/Purple ; Love to Sing.
Music/Bands // Evanescence ; My Chemical Romance ; NickelBack ; Megan Maccauley ; Kelly Clarkson .
ThePeopleThatTurnMyRosesRed // Amanda ; * Batman ; Georgina ; Julia ; * Kathryn ; Kenneth ; LyDia ; Sherlyn ; tiMo ; Yuliang ; Jie ying ; Joel;Cherie
;noteworthy // nartz (please do not remove this.)
leaveanote
//
[sample]
Strange In The Making
[ :: Freaky 15 ]
[ :: Fiesty 14 ]
Present Bloodstains and Dried Up Teardrops
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
:: home ::
Save me from my insecurity.
thoughtprocesses.
Wednesday, May 26
Judgement day... tomorrow 26/5/04
Weather: Rain... sun... rain
Listening to: Solitude / Evanescence
Dear Shadow,
Gosh, its only 5 days before the O' level chinese. Mannn... kinda resting now...after this evening i will chiong like crazy again. By popular demands or rather letters of complains due to the fact my blog is "out-dated", i shall add in some life. =D
Recently, i've been having lots of friendship problems. For instance, my charecter or attitude clashes with my best friend. Another thinks that i have no mind on my own just because i said "where ever you go i will go." Sometimes, i wish that they would just think deeper? *not refering to the attitude clashing incident. If i were thoughtless and allow people to control my thinking, won't i be worse of than a dog and more of a robot? haha... dont think i am worked up or wadeva... just reasoning out, hoping you will understand my point of view. Yeah, you'r right, i may not be the best friend one could have but at least i do have some common sense not to be demanding and allowing my friends to make desicions that they are comfortable with. I guess i've not been me lately... sorry.
On top of that, possibly due to the O' levels and the constant studying, my life seemed to be emptier and lonlier. For once, my friends seemed to have drifted from me. its like i no longer knew who they were. It feels like we became "ex- good/best friends". The warmth no longer existed between us. Empty, lonely, its all a passing phase isnt it?
I guess i seem to have been fooling everyone around me with my bubbly and 'cute' self. It is a part of me not all though. Like everyone else, each of us have a deeper and darker side. None of us can hide from the fact that we were all sinners or were once sinners even though our sins have been forgiven through the blood of chirst. I feel so empty inside me. Nothing seems to satisfy my needs. At this time, i know i need God desperately. Writing out stuff helps me to anaylse a lot more. The question is how? Praying? I've been trying.... i guess i need the faith. I need his warmth and his strength back in my life again. His time is coming, and its still not too late for me to realise what i have been missing all this months. There is always a another chance for me to stand up ever since i left 'Hope Of God'.
Lately, I've been thinking abit about Jun xiang= center parting guy = sc guy= gunbound guy. I guess it was kind of mean for me to give out the wrong signals even though i knew it. Actually i dont even think i gave out the wrong signals. He got it all wrong! Well anyway yes partly my fault also. I've never told him i missed him or loved him or even liked him! Well... i guess i wont be talking to him unless he talks to me or something. I will have to be firm like my mum, if he tries to ask me out again. Say No! >.<
Thats all for now folks. * mother, i don't like anyone now. So you can have him =D
-//Summer sunshine
*ceLina
runaway