ceLina // 16+ ; Fairfield Primary/Fairfied Secondary/Jurong Junior College ; Choir/Red Cross ; Christian ; Black/Red/Purple ; Love to Sing.
Music/Bands // Evanescence ; My Chemical Romance ; NickelBack ; Megan Maccauley ; Kelly Clarkson .
ThePeopleThatTurnMyRosesRed // Amanda ; * Batman ; Georgina ; Julia ; * Kathryn ; Kenneth ; LyDia ; Sherlyn ; tiMo ; Yuliang ; Jie ying ; Joel;Cherie
;noteworthy // nartz (please do not remove this.)
leaveanote
//
[sample]
Strange In The Making
[ :: Freaky 15 ]
[ :: Fiesty 14 ]
Present Bloodstains and Dried Up Teardrops
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
:: home ::
Save me from my insecurity.
thoughtprocesses.
Sunday, June 6
Lonley star...06/06/04
Weather: Endless blur skies
Listening to: Everybody cries
Dear shadow,
I guess today's entry will be different than the previous few. These few months, I've realised that i have not been blogging consistantly. I think i have the reason. I've lost my soul. Life has been empty, never filled with any real emotion. Each day, i passed my time together with someone or something, ignoring or rather i was deaf to hear my inner cries. Ever since then. i became a very different person. Someone whom i did not know at all. I've been pretty cranky lately, breaking down at the slightest things even though no one had their burdens upon me. That period of time, was the most worthless and uneffective time I've ever spent on earth.*Pardon my words if it inflicts hurt upon you.
Recently, on the 4th of june, friday. I found out what i was really missing inside. LIke what the preachers say. What the world can offer to me will never satisfy my inner desires. I was looking for something more. And that was God. I've have not been spirtually led these past few months, still ignorant he was in my life. I've not felt refreshed for such a long time. I'm glad i'm thinking about him constantly.
Today, I took a trip down to Shireen's house and watched the anime "Pretear" I obtained not too long ago. At first, the show did not hit me. However later on in the final disc, lonliness and sorrow was evident from its contents. Even though it was a happy ending, it never failed to intrigue me. It made me realise how fragile life really is. Once you give up and start to wallow in self pity, fear and lonliness, all that you see around you would be filled with darkness. This is not a rare occurance because at least half of the world's population would have been in the same situation. We all feel no one will understand us. Nobody would want to even understand us. More importantly, What if i disappear from this face of the earth, would anybody notice? We can never deny that a part of us feels this way. As I watched the main charecter, I begin to see myself. Obstacles were placed infront of her. She was afraid of the future. She surprised everyone with a logical thinking. She put on a optimistic front. Deep inside, she was afraid, scared and lonely. No where to run no where to hide.
I've been running away from my problems all my life. I guess its time to put things back into place and cope with the fears placed infront of me. As long as i dont give up on the world, the world would never give up on me =) Ganbate~! There is still a long way to go
//The sword you carry, must wear its sheath. The cuts you make will take time to heal
*ceLina
runaway