ceLina // 16+ ; Fairfield Primary/Fairfied Secondary/Jurong Junior College ; Choir/Red Cross ; Christian ; Black/Red/Purple ; Love to Sing.
Music/Bands // Evanescence ; My Chemical Romance ; NickelBack ; Megan Maccauley ; Kelly Clarkson .
ThePeopleThatTurnMyRosesRed // Amanda ; * Batman ; Georgina ; Julia ; * Kathryn ; Kenneth ; LyDia ; Sherlyn ; tiMo ; Yuliang ; Jie ying ; Joel;Cherie
;noteworthy // nartz (please do not remove this.)
leaveanote
//
[sample]
Strange In The Making
[ :: Freaky 15 ]
[ :: Fiesty 14 ]
Present Bloodstains and Dried Up Teardrops
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
:: home ::
Save me from my insecurity.
thoughtprocesses.
Thursday, July 8
Black fingernails...July/08/04
Weather: Grey skies
Listening to: you set me free
Dear Shadow,
Sorry for not being able to blog earlier, been really busy lately. Life has changed rapidly for me even thouogh its hardly noticeable. 1 year has already passed since I first told him how i felt. One year is long enough.
I don't know why but I'm always prone to internal conflict. The song Further Away truly describes what i am, who am i. People seem to be shocked and amazed and even concern if i'm alright. I would say that if all of us look back at our mistakes in life, at least half of us wouldn't deny the fact that we are bitches or whores. At least, I'm not self delusional and tell myself I'm pure. I used to think i was this really nice girl who everyone can go to. However, this song wakes me up from my slumber. What i am stil puzzled about is that how can God still love us even though we are such horrid people. Hey, if my daughter were to be like me, I'd frankly say I'll disown her. maybe not to the extend but i would sure be angry with her. Personally, i keep making the same mistakes over and over again. However by God's grace and mercy, i continue to live each day. Sometimes, after loads of reflection, you will realise how you spend each day aimlessly. I'm sad to say that I'm one of them. Everytime i worship in school, words don't come out with passion. I'm not ashamed of him thats for sure, but i wish the school was more enuthsiastic about worship. How can one claim to love God actions and words of passion don't show?
Maybe its true that love comes when you don't expect it to. I won't care to elaborate much though. There can be no true love between mortals, only the one with God. Even though i don't experience the consequenses of love, the people around me have frigtened me with theirs. To the fact that it can be hard to trust. I must say it will take a lot for me before i take my first step. When? I don't know. When the time is right, i will know it.
-//Love is not touch and go
*ceLina
runaway