ceLina // 16+ ; Fairfield Primary/Fairfied Secondary/Jurong Junior College ; Choir/Red Cross ; Christian ; Black/Red/Purple ; Love to Sing.
Music/Bands // Evanescence ; My Chemical Romance ; NickelBack ; Megan Maccauley ; Kelly Clarkson .
ThePeopleThatTurnMyRosesRed // Amanda ; * Batman ; Georgina ; Julia ; * Kathryn ; Kenneth ; LyDia ; Sherlyn ; tiMo ; Yuliang ; Jie ying ; Joel;Cherie
;noteworthy // nartz (please do not remove this.)
leaveanote
//
[sample]
Strange In The Making
[ :: Freaky 15 ]
[ :: Fiesty 14 ]
Present Bloodstains and Dried Up Teardrops
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
:: home ::
Save me from my insecurity.
thoughtprocesses.
Thursday, July 15
Unappreciated & Ignored...15/07/04
Weather: The usual. It just rained in the morning
Listening to: reflections (korean)
Dear Shadow,
I've just realised how little i have been communicating with my mother. Everyday, all i see her do is come home, eat, watch a little bit of Tv before sleeping. I don't really have an exisiting relationship with my mother. It possibily mean i have a part to play. I might have neglected my mother. The point is, i don't like the way she cares either. I rather her leave me alone and stop irritating me. All i hear about is Geok Chin and her daughter. It's not as i wanna hear about their lives. I mean come on they are not Amy lee's parents or something. Even if i talk to her, it will be abut studies. Sometimes i ask myself, why can't she be like other mothers who teach me the values and meanings of life and how to be a proper lady. I rather envy mothers who tie their daughters hair for them. My mum had grandma to do it, but i don't. Why? Because she doesn't know how to tie her own hair. I had to learn it myseslf. Learn everything myself. What i have i done? Learnt to think, learnt to act, learnt the deeper meanings of something things which we can never comprehend. Its either a career minded mum or a housewife. I know my mum longs to be a house wife but due to the fact that she has to support this family, she cant do so. But at the expense of her daughters childhood, memories and feelings? I just feel so neglected. I never got to let her know this because I know she is already feeling guilty cos of that stupid Geok Chin. Why can't she keep her mouth shut! I really wish i was a baby. At least some one is there to carry me when I'm crying.
Talk about friends? I'm not sure either. I know this might be a vague example but i was left out alone. No one was there beside me. They only watched and talked, as if i were transparent. Because this is my blog, i will plan to say what i want and i don't care if anyone gets hurt because these are my feelings! Now i feel like a bitch... a total idiot who has no compassion. A sinner. I guess this time, the more i blog the more confuse i get... too many things to list... too little time. To me, this isn't considered a problem that people would care about anyway. Why? because no one truly loves the way i am and the rest of the world.
-// Say bye to the world
*ceLina
runaway