ceLina // 16+ ; Fairfield Primary/Fairfied Secondary/Jurong Junior College ; Choir/Red Cross ; Christian ; Black/Red/Purple ; Love to Sing.
Music/Bands // Evanescence ; My Chemical Romance ; NickelBack ; Megan Maccauley ; Kelly Clarkson .
ThePeopleThatTurnMyRosesRed // Amanda ; * Batman ; Georgina ; Julia ; * Kathryn ; Kenneth ; LyDia ; Sherlyn ; tiMo ; Yuliang ; Jie ying ; Joel;Cherie
;noteworthy // nartz (please do not remove this.)
leaveanote
//
[sample]
Strange In The Making
[ :: Freaky 15 ]
[ :: Fiesty 14 ]
Present Bloodstains and Dried Up Teardrops
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
:: home ::
Save me from my insecurity.
thoughtprocesses.
Tuesday, September 7
Beyond my control.
Weather: Partially Cloudy
Listening to: Leave The Others ALone/Sohpie Ellis Bextor
Dear Shadow,
Okay, I wasnt planning to type about what I'm gonna type next but I found it pretty weird.
When I first told my mum some stuff, she told me she felt like crying. I didn't shout or anything. I was just talking some sense into her, although i was a little irritated because she kept going round and round the bush and not heading straight to the point. Today's shedule became hectic because I haven't bought that literature book, I don't know which. After that, we had to accomodate Empress Dowager, who didnt like to stay at home because it's so boring and she's alone. She's afraid something would happen to her while we're away for she is catching up with old age. I told my mum not to worry about the book, I'll go do it myself. Besides I'm already a big girl, just leave it to me. If Ican't get it today then I'll get it during the weekend. Whats the point of rushing through all your priorities which never end everyday and leave yourself exhausted to only continue the next set of never ending priorites when you're done with the first. I ask her if those who love her wanted to see her sick and ill. No. It was never mean to be answered by her anyway. She took leave to finish some priorites but she keeps forgetting about herself. I told her sometimes you should take a rest and put these worries down a little while. She definately needs to relax. Even my dad advises me not to be like my mum who puts in her 180% of her effort into work. Hope she does take care of herself.
Sometimes I feel that I'm not being caring enough to the people around me. For example, I havent contacted Yuen ping, wan xian and amanda for the past few days. They are my friends. They told me that sometimes I focus on the people I'm closer to more, so much so I hardly talk to them. I feel really bad. Maybe I should give them a call and see hows everything going. Moreover, I feel that I'm self centred. No one has mentioned it but I just feel that I am. I should start asking about them more often, don't know what's gotten into me this year. I hardly talk to Julia now, speaking of which I miss her. Somehow, she's not the person I knew, changed, both of the better and for the worse. She's afraid to talk to me, I don't know why. Not that I'm gonna eat her up or something. After the O's I have to start planning on my meet up list. =S It's at least better than studying during the holidays.
[/Skip]
Last night, Someone asked me a question. I... I didn't know how to answer. Sigh.. It's so hard keep it at friendship status. For kenneth, it was easy because I didn't establish a friendship with him and so the first step was to be friends. I could draw a clear line then. Now, I doubt my capabilities. As it is already, we have a friendship that I'm comfortable with. But somtimes it's not as simple as it seems when you like the person. I had to put a skip right at the top because I felt uncomfortable about other people reading this. It's my fault that I can't control myself. I feel like Olivia now, just more constant than her. He's not just a friend to me. He's special. I wanted to tell him that but I know I shouldn't because it will ruin everything . I'm afraid... just wish that I didn't know how I felt. Nothing would change, nothing would happen. I know i should face up with reality and stop running away. I'm really not brave.
-//It's not as simple as liking someone. There's more to it.
*ceLina
runaway