ceLina // 16+ ; Fairfield Primary/Fairfied Secondary/Jurong Junior College ; Choir/Red Cross ; Christian ; Black/Red/Purple ; Love to Sing.
Music/Bands // Evanescence ; My Chemical Romance ; NickelBack ; Megan Maccauley ; Kelly Clarkson .
ThePeopleThatTurnMyRosesRed // Amanda ; * Batman ; Georgina ; Julia ; * Kathryn ; Kenneth ; LyDia ; Sherlyn ; tiMo ; Yuliang ; Jie ying ; Joel;Cherie
;noteworthy // nartz (please do not remove this.)
leaveanote
//
[sample]
Strange In The Making
[ :: Freaky 15 ]
[ :: Fiesty 14 ]
Present Bloodstains and Dried Up Teardrops
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
:: home ::
Save me from my insecurity.
thoughtprocesses.
Thursday, April 21
He wasn't
Weather: Damp.
Listening to: We Belong Together/Mariah Carey
Dear Shadow,
It's been awhile since I written. Been really busy lately. There were loads of events before today. Choir practices, Cheerleading sessions (Council), Preparation for campaigning, Singing Practices for Teenage Idol + tons and tons of work *bleahz*. Anyway most of it has ended. I didn't get into the Semi Finals of Teenage Idol. They might call me for Take 2. I'm not sure. But I have 70% confidence that they will. My friends were shocked when they heard the results. One of them wanted to burn I Sport, the sponser, down. Most felt that the results were screwed up. The judging was bias. Maybe they were just trying to cheer me up. But I know for sure that I gave my best. I wowed the crowd. I knew deep in my heart that I made it. My newly aquainted friends who were contestants were taken aback by my performance. They thought I would have made it. Maia even sang along while I performed. I grabbed their attention. Maybe the world wasn't ready for me. I will
work harder and I know that one day I will make it. Meanwhile, its time to practise with my band =)
Coucil is over for me. The pressure is too much. The work load is hard and it expects a lot within a short period of time. Because of the tight shedule as well as its immediate demands, I'm unable to cope with my work. I've already considered weighing Council, Choir and Red cross. Red cross is something I would not let go off because it was where i grew up, it was where important values were imparted to me, it was where friendships were made and formed. We went through thick and thin. I love Fairfield Red Cross though they might not love me back. Choir was something I wanted to join from secondary school. Singing is my passion, it means alot to me. I first started singing when I was 5. My cousins would hold singing competitions and we would compete. I would always win, probably because of biasness. Too bad I'm too adorbale =D Haha. I am able to love Choir no matter its a good or bad. Maybe because of the conductors graciousness, it makes me love JJ Choir even more. So, no matter how much i want to do something for the school and change myself to be better, I would never give up Choir and Red cross. Council was too stressful for me. It made me tired, frustrated... there you see the other side of me, the ill tempered side.
When Kenneth told me he was in Choir, I got a shock of my life. He didnt come across as a singer. Yes, he's someone who loves music but... I never knew he was a singer! Oh my goodness. He basically fits the bill. Unfortunately, I can't click with him. Nothing to talk about, I suppose. Hard la. Anyway Wenhui already gave up on me. I asked him straightforwardly. I expected it. But not what was to come. I asked if he liked someone else. He said yes... something like that. You know it just makes me feel SO STUPID. I was like telling myself " YOU SILLY GIRL! HE GOT OVER YOU SO EASILY AND YOU SUFFERED THE PAST FEW MONTHS. YOU STUPID GIRL!" But being the ever gracious me =) I told him to go for it. Of course it hurts but... he will never ever bother about me. I just blame myself to believing in his silly lies. Somtimes I ask myself, " Am I the one to blame, for not having a relationship?" If it were not for stress and sparing a thought for my mother's feelings, I would have gone ahead. Oh well it's just too late to regret. Too late. The Second guy to break my heart like that. Will I ever take the step down the the abyss of love again? Maybe not anytime soon.
-//Love is crap. For now
*ceLina
runaway