ceLina // 16+ ; Fairfield Primary/Fairfied Secondary/Jurong Junior College ; Choir/Red Cross ; Christian ; Black/Red/Purple ; Love to Sing.
Music/Bands // Evanescence ; My Chemical Romance ; NickelBack ; Megan Maccauley ; Kelly Clarkson .
ThePeopleThatTurnMyRosesRed // Amanda ; * Batman ; Georgina ; Julia ; * Kathryn ; Kenneth ; LyDia ; Sherlyn ; tiMo ; Yuliang ; Jie ying ; Joel;Cherie
;noteworthy // nartz (please do not remove this.)
leaveanote
//
[sample]
Strange In The Making
[ :: Freaky 15 ]
[ :: Fiesty 14 ]
Present Bloodstains and Dried Up Teardrops
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
:: home ::
Save me from my insecurity.
thoughtprocesses.
Sunday, July 17
Just another day...
Weather: Pretty bright after a rainy day
Listening to: Wo Hen Wo Ai Ni/ Zhang Hui Mei
Dear Shadow,
When I know I'm down, I can always come back here. I hope nothing here changes, maybe you're the thing that I can hold on, to count on in my weary days. Life, has become more and more absurd.
Just when I thought I could let him go, he came back to my mind. I want to get him out of my mind. I want to forget everything, I want to feel nothing. Friends, I've just realised how many of them really thought of me as being important. I've just realised that dating was more important than having a friend that they can count on when they are down. So what if I miss my secondary school? How united is our class anyway. We don't even care about the other cliques. Sure enough I have my own group of friends compared to having literally none in JJ, but can I still go back to my secondary school anymore. I feel like some waste being gotten rid by the school. Barred up, distant, not something that used to be all warm, fuzzy and friendly anymore.
I'm glad Kathryn came back though I didnt get a chance to go out with Elin because she only stayed for one week. We spent most of the time reminising about the old times, talking about how both of our lives changed at all. But what I enjoy most is having conversations in her freezing room. We don't do anything much but... I did enjoy her company. Its just like a gust of wind in a hot and stuffy summer's afternoon.
I guess I'll stop performing for awhile, partially cause I'm sick and stressed of it. Secondly, I feel that learning mistakes at my own pace would be better despite the fact that I would have improved faster if I were to perform more often. Guess what my dad said? He said that my vocal teacher is very superficial, that she's out to con me. Does he know that she cares for me? She asked to tell her when my performance was so that she could give me some advice on my dressing and my choice of songs. Remembering those days when I was in Teenage Icon, she would specially go over to the music school to help me out and correct my mistakes. If she were out to con me, would she have put in so much effort? I wish my dad would have just put in more effort in thinking. No doubt I may be gulible, but that goes to show the amount of trust I have in people. Why would they want to con me when I have nothing.
Well our batch is starting to go their seperate ways. We can see their distinct intentions as well as their motivations for joining VIP. Will we become unhappy with each other? That I do not know but I already begin to anticipate for the upcoming fault lines that will start to appear in the near future.
Right now, I don't even know if I'm living in an illusion or not. Whether this bad phase will end soon or have I woken up into the society unprotected by christian values and close friends. Well, I havent really had a place that I can call home. Never sticked around quite long enough to make it. Nothing I have is truely mine.
-// What's becoming of me
*ceLina
runaway