ceLina // 16+ ; Fairfield Primary/Fairfied Secondary/Jurong Junior College ; Choir/Red Cross ; Christian ; Black/Red/Purple ; Love to Sing.
Music/Bands // Evanescence ; My Chemical Romance ; NickelBack ; Megan Maccauley ; Kelly Clarkson .
ThePeopleThatTurnMyRosesRed // Amanda ; * Batman ; Georgina ; Julia ; * Kathryn ; Kenneth ; LyDia ; Sherlyn ; tiMo ; Yuliang ; Jie ying ; Joel;Cherie
;noteworthy // nartz (please do not remove this.)
leaveanote
//
[sample]
Strange In The Making
[ :: Freaky 15 ]
[ :: Fiesty 14 ]
Present Bloodstains and Dried Up Teardrops
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
:: home ::
Save me from my insecurity.
thoughtprocesses.
Sunday, July 31
Sleepover.
Weather: Can't see from behind the curtains
Listening to: Backgound music coming from Teen Titans
Dear Shadow,
Wassup? Things turned for the better. I guess. Well... At least I don't have to be alone hanging out with her anymore. Kind of talked it out with someone from school. At least there are people who understand? Glad I have red cross friends. I wonder what I would do without them. I'hatm at a sleepover at kat's house *gushes* =D It's been a long time since we had a stayover. Sherlyn's here as well. Haven't talked her much. So far the only convosation I that I could remember was about ghosts and kenneth. Yea. Thats pretty much about it. great. It's like talking to me about my past. Wow like I want to be reminded about my past.
Kathryn thought she looked like a filopino maid. Leroy thinks he's she's hot. Yeah... I know i'm not the prettiest but I felt much better after what kathryn said. I kinda boosted my confidence. Some of what my friends said made me feel much better. I guess I should be ready to let go soon. Just that... it still isnt time yet.
Last night, kathryn and I watced sisterhood of travelling pants. In some way I thought it reminded me of us. It was basically about 4 girls who knew each other all their lives. However on the summer of 16. They had to go seprate ways. Somehow they happen to chance upon a pair of jeans that fit all of them. It was then they decided that they would form a sisterhood and their form of communication for the holiday would be in form of that pair of *magic* jeans
Lina had to go to greece to visit her grandparents. her story on the whole was pretty much about finding herself and to open up to her inner desires and love. Well, on seconds thoughts. She made me think about myself. Like she said, She wanted to open up to everyone however everytime she does that, a wall just comes up atuomatically. She didn't understand how someone who lost so much can still love, while she couldnt even open up to it. I guess I'm somewhat like her. I'm afraid of opening up to the people I like or the people who like me. I'm afraid that once I show my vulnerable self, they would hurt me terribly. It's a fear, maybe a phobia. I wish I could be brave and just be myself.
Tibby, was very real to me. She's the kinda rebel who hates the world. "Screw it!" However in that summer, she met a girl. Blood cancer, was what she was suffering from. Tibby never knew a "pain in the ass" cheery and bubly girl would leave the world soon. As soon as she knew about the truth, her attitude towards to world changed, it was no longer hateful or about misjudging people. It was about life and how we should cherish everything we have. The parts that really touched me were when,
Bailey told Tibby, " I like stars, when you look at them their all there" and the topic of life and death started. The funny thing was that she wasn't afraid of dying but having not enough time to meet different people and make her place in the world.
Lina told Tibby that she believed in the magic of that pair of jeans. Tibby wasted no time and wanted bailey to have that pair of jeans so much. It kind of hurts me when I see someone I know really well die... I would have felt so helpless in her position
Bridget on the other hand, is a confident wild girl who tries to impress her coach for every wrong reason. There was a yearning in her, for wanting the things she could not have. However when she got it, she felt empty. She wanted her mum who died, she wanted to go home. But home wasnt a place where she belonged either. It was a bad patch of her, not wanting to be like her mother, wanting to be strong. It reflects a part of me. There was a time I wanted to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons, however I've never started it, Thank God. It would not be right to hurt someone innocent in the end. Personally there are time where I feel empty too, that I don't belong anywhere. The funny thing is, maybe because I blog my sadness, someone always saves me from feeling even worse. Not anyone specific but I guess people in general.
Carmen reminds me of kathryn. I feel that in the movie, Carmen was outcasted, I could feel how "important" she was to her dad. How misplaced she felt in a "perfect family" and how they disliked her. Not that she goes through the same thing. But it's the anguish that we all go through when our parents don't understand us and hurt us so yet they don't realise it, believing that everything is easily salvageble and that we're just going through a bad phase. that we're alright. But the fact is, we aren't. There so much of us wanting to be real in front of our parents that they would accept us for who we are. We're not perfect and we can't always be that golden boy or girl whom they can show of to their friends and relatives.
I guess that's pretty much about it. I guess I'll always remember this movie. I guess I can understand why Kathryn was so emotional about it. It affected me to. Catch in the movies before its too late.
-//Life without friends is like an empty M&M shell
*ceLina
runaway