thoughtprocesses.
Tuesday, July 26
* Tagboard is now open.
Better day? Maybe not.
Weather: Rainy in the morning. Got Wet.
Listening to: Single/Natasha Beddingfield
Safe In A Crazy World/ Corrinne May
Dear Shadow,
I kinda screwed up my SPA today. My titrations were totally off. Wow. I'm in for SUCH a treat. Guess what? I'm left with Chemical tutorial, Mathematics tutorial and Economics tutorial for tonight. I'll most probably sleep during Mathematics lecture again. Gee...
The day wasnt so bad. I felt better but not good still. Bag's full of sugar and flying stationary because I have a pencil case with a broken zip. Havent had time to buy a new bag or a new pencil case. Wish I had 48 hours. Don't you every felt that way. But like they say, we will probably be more preoccupied in that way.
Is music still an outlet for me? Music has always been a form of expression but when being critqued... you kinda lose the way you feel for the song. It's like having to be conditioned in order to sing a song properly in the eyes of society. I feel so pressured so uneasy. It's like people are giving you labels with the look in their eyes. It is still my cup of tea, but right now... it just isnt me.
I realised that I've never been fortunate with guys. Or rather I cant seem to connect with them. Maybe its just me. Maybe I can communicate with girls better. Well, the two guys which I used to like really deeply, maybe I still do in some way or another unconciously, lead pretty happy lives. One's in a top school, student leader with numerous admirers, another has found "the one" and living happily without any recollection of me. Sometimes you try so hard to stand up and try to live better than them when you can't get what you want. In the end, you fail more terribly sometimes. I try to be strong, try to get on with my life but everything ends up being worse. I'm not being pessimistic, its just that i'm turning cynical. I'm losing hope. I've been waiting too long. I'm tired. Lord just take me home. Don't keep me longing for things that don't belong to me.
Maybe things will get better tomorrow. Maybe not. PW, Economics tution. Homework which I failed to accomplish within a certain time frame. Dead meat
-// Feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you.
*ceLina
runaway
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